mad_gemma's LJ

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

ITV just phoned

I've won £2400!!!
from Dickinsons real deal!

am in UTTER shock, and physically shaking!

http://www.itv.com/Termsandconditions/winners/dickinsonsrealdealwinners/default.html - it's real!

1 MORE SLEEP UNTIL NEW YORK :D :D :D

so we went today to see Dad's doctor, Dr B we shall call him
he basically told us that someone had made a clerical error and that's what killed him

he was on a chemo drug something like mexiethane or something random like that, I'm not up on my chemo drugs but it began with an M..
this drug reacts with about 600 other drugs that they can issue so they have a long list of what not to take when on it
they gave him penicillin to fight an infection
that was on the list..
the pharmasists fucked up and Dr B basically confirmed this to us
Dr B told us that these 600 drugs affect how the chemo drug works, and in this case, raised it's attacking effect and caused too much damage. his level was 22, if any of you understand that, and it got raised higher.
on top of this, he was on steriods, which attack the stomach and cause ulcers.
These ulcers combined with this super high level chemo drug destroyed his stomach and Intensive Care couldn't get the blood quick enough to him to replace the lost

lets just say I'm fuming, pissed off and very close to talking to a laywer about what happened but they're doing an internal investigation, which we'll see the outcome of.
He said the doctors and nurses were all so upset about what happened but that's no concelation to me! They killed my father and I will never forgive the NHS for this incompetence. Mum hasn't seen how pissed off I am and she won't.

oh and don't bother posting any support for them, right now they can go get stuffed. I'm fuming and if you show any support to me, you are no longer a friend. I know mistakes are made and that's part of life but right now.. you know. just don't say it even if you think it, ok?

how ironic is it that my dad died with a connection to something that could kill me - Penicillin :(

My dad passed away 3.30am Christmas morning

Christmas will never be the same again, and I will never say Happy Christmas again

We went and saw him on the Wednesday and he was fine
Thursday (Xmas eve) he was sore and had a temperature but was ok and sleepy so we left him at tea time and I took my mum out for a few drinks with her friends
got in at 12.30 and went to bed
2.30 the landline rang.
panic springs through you.
rush down to the hospital, trying to keep mum calm via taxi, rushed through A&E down to his ward
get there and instantly get stopped by the doctor who wanted to speak to us which is when you know somethings wrong
she tells us that at about 12.30 he got a terrible temperature and vomited up blood. they'd tried to get him more blood but it wouldn't stay down. so they called us
we got there, he was struggling to breathe.
you could hear blood on the lungs, so rattly, so strange. so haunting
blood was coming from his nose and mouth. so sad
he couldnt speak but we know he could hear us as he squeezed our hands when we spoke to him. which was something. we know he knows he wasn't alone when it happened
they gave him some injections to help with the breathing and the pain. it seemed to.
phoned as many people as we could to try and get down there but being 2.30 in the morning, it was a struggle
we were the only ones there when he passed. his sister was 5 minutes later, as were dave and isabelle.
mum broke down, as expected
mine held off until I was left alone with him. had to look after her, think it was mostly shock that hit me to be honest
all his brothesr and sisters finally arrived, we all sat around and talked adn then decided that we had to leave as it wasn't healthy being there when we couldn't do anything.
went back to ours. didn't go back to bed. stayed up til about 11pm that day
still had our presents and some dinner and stuff, as he would have wanted us to.

so yeah..
still not really sunk in to be honest. get waves of tears. mostly when I try to sleep.
got to try and get things arranged now.
if any of you want to come to the funeral, please let me know and I'll give you details when I have them but please don't feel that you should for me or whatever. only if you'd like to. I don't expect any of you to as you don't really know him but I know one or two of you might be thinking it

thankyou SO much for everyone who helped telling people, sent wishes and love, tried to call (sorry, cant handle talking right now), whatever. really do appreciate it and will reply to you all when I have the strength.
Right now, I need to look after mum so won't be in Southampton for a long time nor online much.

if for some reason you want my address, then if you're a comper, contact Charis or if you're a friend, contact Ross (FB him or something) but please, for now, if you feel you want to send flowers or something, please let me check with mum. I know the funeral will be family flowers only, and will be donations somewhere too. Will update later.

will update more when I have the strength.
thankyou all..
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I hate doctors :(
it took them 10 days to do the MRI scan which spotted the activity
he could have started treatment a week ago but no.. *sigh*

it's cancer of the lymph nodes in the brain.
chemo or drugs.

I feel so weak right now :( I dont know what to do. completely lost :(
mum's clinging to the treatable words theyve said. but she seems like she's coping.
I broke down in tears last night in the pub when she told me
his treatments goign to be in collaboration with Southampton - not sure if it'll be here or just under their consultancy

I can't get on with anything right now - in fact I walked into town with Ross, when he left to go to London, I went shopping. Ive spent nearly 100 quid today on random stuff because I cant concentrate. Thank god for receipts I think..

Im finding it hard to not constantly cry right now :(

thankyou everyone who's sent kind words, thoughts, whatever. I really do appreciate how much you care. please dont be offended if I feel like cancelling plans either - its nothing personal, just day by day I think I'll feel differently. Going to force myself to the fireworks tonight as Ive been wanting to go all week..

so yeah.

I've only bloody gone and won IOW Festival tickets for next weekend!

GET IN THERE! :D

anyone know anything about glasses?
I think I need new lenses
My prescription doesn't seem to be working that well anymore..
BUT
I want to keep my frames!
though I can't see how they'd get the lens out without melting - there's no hinge to get them in and out with, so unless they're just pushed in ones.. what do I do? :S

but yeah..
how much are standard lenses usually?
is there a refitting fee?
obviously I need an eye test too but that's easily done :)

thoughts?

I HAVE MY CAMERA!

AND IT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHINY!


:D :D :D

please dont hate me guys..

I've just won ANOTHER Nikon D60!!

I'm shaking still!

I've just won a fucking 400 quid camera! :D

edit: it's the Nikon D60

how aces is that?! :D

I can't stop shaking...

now I wouldn't normally ask.. but it's Free!

would you mind clicking on the below and giving "DolphyWolphy" a boost? :)

http://www.playballoonacy.com/show/ec2f359e3121c267a1ba6cf1dbcb1a18

( Where I am now )

thanks in advance if you do! :)
oh, and a daily vote (its only for a week) even more greatfully received :)

Just a reminder to everyone..

the party's tonight,
anytime from 7.30ish onwards.
you know the theme!
bring some booze, we have some food
and hope to see you all later :)

any questions, drop me a line, and its Archers Road :)

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


That is all :)

Thursday 6th December
SUSU reception (ie the way in ;))
10-4

Craft Fair!
Come see me :)

Its payday
which means daft ideas run through Gemma's head..

she wants a D-SLR..

can anyone help her pick one?

* She likes Fuji but isnt fussed if she's gonna get better elsewhere (and from what Ive seen/heard Nikon and Canon seem to be leading that field)
* she doesnt want to spend TOO much, as theres still bills to be paid after all!
* she loves her Fuji F30 to bits so doesnt wanna replace him completely. He's a good little compact after all..

I like the look of the Canon EOS 350/400D and the Nikon D40/40X's look nice too, as does the Fuji S5 Pro.. hmmm

anyone want bestival tickets?

I appear to have just won 2... :D

Would anyone be interested in going to this on Saturday?

Can I tempt anyone to any of the following?

* Sat 25 Aug 2007 - Hijera + INSTALLATION [EX-EQD] + THE EXITS + THE ELIJAH PROJECT, Joiners (thanks Al for saying they were good, I certainly enjoyed Hijera :))
or on the same day, Nizlopi at the Talking Heads..


* Wed 29 Aug 2007 - KUBICHEK! + BATTLE, Joiners (heard good things about Kubichek!)


* Tue 18 Sep 2007 - DAN LE SAC V SCROOBIUS PIP, Joiners


* Fri 21 Sept 2007 - THE HOLLOWAYS & THE WOMBATS, Portsmouth Pyramids


* Fri 28 Sep 2007 - FRANK TURNER, Joiners (I'm going regardless of anyone else wanting to or not :D)


* Thu 4 Oct 2007 - THE MISFITS, Soton Uni (dont know much about them but people I know love them..)


* Sun 14 Oct 2007 - MACCABEES, Portmsouth Pyramids

* Thurs 25 Oct 2007 - SUPER FURRY ANIMALS, Guildhall (a classic?)


* Sat 10 Nov 2007 - YOUNG KNIVES, Joiners


* Sun 11 Nov 2007 - [SPUNGE] (yeah I know, long way away but every other time they've sold out..)

* FRI 16/11/2007 - PIGEON DETECTIVES, Portsmouth Pyramids

really wanted Klaxon tickets but they've sold out :(
Also tempted to get Calvin Harris tickets for London in November but I'm not sure.. :S

and one for Al incase he doesnt know, Misty's Big Adventure at Joiners 10.10.2007 :)

Anyone? :)

28th September!
Joiners!
Frank Turner!

Whos up for joining me? :)
I know its a fair time before the gig but I'll be going to the guildhall to get tickets asap :) anyone want me to grab them one if so?

No more Fopp :(

I am sad
I like Fopp